Just Tell the Truth
In my early recovery, a gentleman in an AA meeting shared, “This program is very simple – stop drinking and stop lying. That’s it!”
Over the years, I have found so much wisdom in that simple explanation of what constitutes a program of recovery because to sustain any type of addiction, we must lie – to our family and friends, to our employer, and to ourselves.
In time, we actually come to believe the lies and lose the ability to recognize the truth. This loss of ability to clearly see the reality of our situation is what we call “denial.”
What has changed for me in my own recovery is an increased understanding of the lies that fuel addiction and the need to identify and stop agreeing with the lies. I distinguish two different types of lies:
Identifying The Lies That Fuel Addiction
1. Sustaining Lies
These are the kinds of lies that allow our addiction to progress.
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- Minimization – “It’s not that bad;” “At least I don’t _____;”
- “If I ever ______, then I’ll have a problem.”
- Justification – making wrong behavior right in our own mind.
- Rationalization – “I deserve to reward myself by getting high just this one more time.”
2. Family of Origin lies
These include negative messages we may have received as children from poor parenting, or from teachers or coaches. Hearing these negative critical comments repeatedly often can cause us to believe them. Our beliefs then affect our behavior.
- “You are worthless.”
- “You’ll never amount to anything.”
- “What is wrong with you?”
Breaking the Cycle of Lies
As a Christian, I have come to believe that the author of all these lies is who the Bible calls “the father of lies,” the devil. Our struggle as recovering addicts is
against the lies and schemes of the enemy, who seeks to control us and keep us enslaved to our addiction.
To experience complete recovery, we must not only stop using drugs, but we must identify the lies we have believed, resist and reject the lie, replace the lie with the truth, and fully extinguish the lie, enabling ourselves to live in recovery.
This is the work of recovery. It is the focus of effective counseling.