Too often, people mistake abstinence from substance use (or other destructive behavior) as “recovery.”  While abstinence is the ticket that gets you into the theater, it is not the movie.  Many of the clients I see come to me with an alcohol or other drug problem and I tell them that I do not see their substance use as the problem but rather their solution.  They have discovered that using gives them temporary escape from feelings they are unable to cope with and that the real focus of counseling is to help them identify those feelings and develop coping skills to survive.

Recovery Can Have Many Definitions

A former supervisor of mine believed that an addict cannot relapse until he or she has developed a baseline of recovery.  Prior to reaching that baseline, periods of abstinence are merely brief interruptions in the established using pattern.  He defined the baseline of recovery as follows:

• Minimum of 90 days of abstinence.
• Involvement in 12-Step meetings and having a sponsor.
• Completion of Steps 4 and 5 of the 12 Steps.
• Financially self-supporting.

Underlying Issues Need To Be Addressed

That definition can be debated, but it does emphasize that actual recovery is more than mere abstinence.  Some of the underlying issues that need to be addressed, which are part of the disease of addiction, include low self-esteem, a tendency toward isolation, all-or-nothing thinking, detachment from feelings, and low frustration tolerance to name just a few.

As a recovering person myself, I learned from my first sponsor that there are three aspects to recovery:

1. Fellowship – attending support meetings and social events with other recovering people. This re-socialization helps to overcome our isolation.
2. Service – being of service to others helps to overcome our natural tendency to be self-centered. Service commitments at 12-Step meetings offer this opportunity, as do volunteer commitments with charitable organizations.
3. The personal program of recovery – as found in the 12-Steps. This involves honesty,  developing a faith in God, self-inventory, and overcoming our identified character defects.

In Conclusion

As we do these 3 simple things, we become the kind of people we were created to be prior to getting sidetracked by substances or other addictive behavior.  We then naturally attract positive people and unexpected opportunities into our lives.